The Love Blog | Create the marriage & Relationship of your Dreams!

Are you “IN” Love?
by Michelle Shelton, Communications Coach

I often hear couples state that they are sooooo “IN” love and they are so happy they finally found the ONE and fell in love. I know if I can fall into something, it certainly sounds like I could fall out.

It is my thinking that love is not something we fall in to. Love is a choice. Our thoughts control our emotions so when someone falls in and out of love this comes from a lack of self-control in their thinking. It is an immaturity of thought. Love is a choice. Period. The feeling of love that many people are talking about falling in to begins with a thought. Maybe they are thinking about what it would be like to be close to that person. Maybe they envision a physical relationship or maybe they are attracted to the person’s demeanor, smile, smell, who knows? No matter, as either way the initial attraction starts with a thought and therefore love is a choice.

This isn’t something many people want to hear. They change their mind and they don’t feel the love anymore because they are not in control of their thoughts…except they are. What did I just say? The thing is, many folks don’t understand that they control their thoughts and by doing so, they control their experience. Ever heard of first thought, second thought? The first thought is hardwired into us based on how our thinking was formed. The second thought is a choice. If I think, I feel hurt. I can quickly change it to another thought. I can look at the hurt and realize that this hurt is coming from me. No one can hurt me without my permission. I just don’t give it as often now as I used to. When I don’t react, the funny thing is, the person that was doing the potential hurting tends to do something different based on their intention in the first place. Some people have a goal to hurt others typically because they are so hurt themselves, they have become addicted to the process.

I have a responsibility to teach others how I want to be treated. If I want people to be loving to me…guess what I have to be…yup….loving. Sometimes loving means setting boundaries and letting others know what is and isn’t acceptable to me.

People get addicted to thoughts. Like anything, the more you think the thought, the easier it is to have it. The thought evokes a feeling and we start to crave the feeling so we continue to repeat the thought and the cycle goes. As a matter of fact, I will go as far as to say we draw people into our lives based on how we think and what we crave mentally and emotionally. This is the premise of the law of attraction that everyone is so wild about.

This is a deep subject and it may not make sense to you in this short article. The best thing to do is to come to one of our workshops and experience this first hand for yourself. You will have an opportunity to discover your own thought patterns about yourself that may be working and the ones that may not be working and then you can choose from conscious thought.

We would love to have you!

Michelle Shelton Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop. She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona. Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind